Dis wicked

One day a Policeman was directing traffic at Half Way Tree and every minute this madman run up to him and say,'Officer wha time yu hav.' So the police keep running him and say 'yu naa go no weh, so stop ask mi di time'

But the madman keep on coming back so the Police get fed up and say 'ah 2:30 '. The madman then say to the Policeman 'when a 3 O'clock , come suck out mi B@tty'

The Police get vex and start run down the madman wid him batten. So di the madman lost him round a corner near Missa Chin shop.

The Police ask Missa Chin if him see a Madman run pass ya..

Missa Chin say 'no, but a wha him do yu?

Di Police say, 'him see mi a direct traffic round so and come talk say mi fi come suck out him batty when 3o'clock come'

Missa Chin look pan him watch and Say

'But no jus quataa to Three now, Wha happen, yu cyaan wait ??'

Never Give up

One day I decided to quit...
I quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality... I wanted to quit my life.
I went to the woods to have one last talk with God.

'God', I asked, 'Can you give me one good reason not to quit?'
His answer surprised me...
'Look around', He said. 'Do you see the fern and the bamboo?'

'Yes', I replied.
'When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care of them.

I gave them light.

I gave them water.

The fern quickly grew from the earth.

Its brilliant green covered the floor.

Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo.
In the second year the Fern grew more vibrant and plentiful.
And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo. He said.
'In year three there was still nothing from the bamboo seed.

But I would not quit.
In year four, again, there was nothing from the bamboo seed. I would
not quit.' He said.
'Then in the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the earth. Compared
to the fern it was seemingly small and insignificant...But just 6
months later the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall.
It had spent the five years growing roots. Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive.
I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle.'
He asked me. 'Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been struggling, you have actually been growing roots'.

'I would not quit on the bamboo.

I will never quit on you.'
'Don't compare yourself to others.'

He said.

'The bamboo had a different Purpose than the fern.

Yet they both make the forest beautiful.'
'Your time will come', God said to me.

'You will rise high'
'How high should I rise?'

I asked.
'How high will the bamboo rise?' He asked in return.
'As high as it can?' I questioned.
'Yes.' He said, 'Give me glory by rising as high as you can.'
I left the forest and brought back this story.

I hope these words can help you see that God will never give up on you.

Never, Never, Never Give up.
For the Christian Prayer is not an option but an opportunity.
Don't tell the Lord how big the problem is,
tell the problem how Great the Lord is!

Red Rose Friends :-)

Sometimes in life, you find a special friend;
Someone who changes your life
just by being part of it.
Someone who makes you laugh
until you can't stop;
Someone who makes you believe
that there really is good in the world.
Someone who convinces you
that there really is an unlocked door
just waiting for you to open it.
This is Forever Friendship.
This is the sacred RED ROSE.

Jamaican Taxi Joke

This skettel gal jumped into a taxi to go downtown, then realizes she didn't have any money to pay for her ride once she reached her destination. So she got out of the taxi, walked over to the drivers window, lifted up her skirt, and said: "Mi no have no money, but mi cyan pay you wit dis instead".
The taxi driver thought for a moment, then ask the girl: "Mek mi see dat again". She smiled, lifted her skirt again and asked: "So, do we have a deal?". The taxi driver looked at her and said "...You nuh have nutin smaller?"

Five Simple Rules

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

1. Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.

2. Free your mind from worries - Most never happens.

3. Live simply and appreciate what you have..

4. Give more.

5. Expect less from people but more from God..

The Donkey Attitude

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well.
The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.
Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway;
it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him.
They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well.
At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly.
Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well.
He was astonished at what he saw.
With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing.
He would shake it off and take a step up.


As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal,
he would shake it off and take a step up.
Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up
over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!

MORAL :
Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt.
The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up.
Each of our troubles is a steppingstone.
We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up!
Shake it off and take a step up.

Husband Store

A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit the store ONLY ONCE !

There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch. You may choose any ma n from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.

The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.

The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking.

'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework.

'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!' Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor.... There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.. Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!