How can a woman not love the Lord?
* He is a gentleman,
* He is confident
* He is a provider and protector
* He is rich and powerful
* He owns everything, there is nothing He wouldn't do for me
* He perfects all things concerning me
* He anticipates my wants and needs
* Every day He tells me and shows me how much He loves me
* I don't have to perform in order to earn His love
* He keeps all of his promises
* No one can influence His opinion of me
* He is ever faithful, I never have to worry that He's cheating on me
* He is the ultimate intimate partner
* He can't "disown" me because I am a part of Him
* He prepares a table before ME (selah)
* He covers me and doesn't expose me
* He wrote his loving words down so that I'll never forget how He feels about me!
>>>>>>>>NOW THAT'S LOVE !!!>>>>Any man who wants pointers on how to love a woman, should study >>>>GOD!>>>> Wake up every day and thank God for being the best "man" in your life!
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
15 Things You Probably Never Knew or Thought About
1. At least 5 people in this world love you so much they would die for you.
2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.
3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.
4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.
5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.
6. You mean the world to someone.
7. If not for you, someone may not be living.
8. You are special and unique.
9. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.
10. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.
11. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look: you most likely turned your back on the world.
12. When you think you have no chance of getting what you want, you probably won't get it, but if you believe in yourself, probably, sooner or later, you will get it.
13. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.
14. Always tell someone how you feel about them; you will feel much better when they know.
15. If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that they are great.
A Minute: They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them.Take the time... to live and love.
Just for Laughs
When life hits you down, god has a smile to bring youback up.A kindergarten pupil told histeacher he'd found a cat. She asked himif it was dead or alive. "Dead." She wasinformed. "How do you know?" she askedher pupil. "Because I pissed in its earand it didn't move," answered the child innocently. "You did WHAT?!?" the teacherexclaimed in surprise. "You know," explained the boy, "I leaned over andwent 'Pssst!' and it didn't move." _______________________________________________
A small boy is sent to bed by hisfather. Five minutes later.... > "Da-ad...." "What? "I'm thirsty. Can you bring me a drink of water?" "No. You had your chance. Lights out." Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad....." "WHAT?"! "I'm THIRSTY. Can Ihave a drink of water??" "I told you NO!"If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!" > Five minutes later......
"Daaaa-aaaad....." "WHAT!" "When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drinkof water?"
________________________________________________
An exasperated mother, whose sonwas always getting into mischief, finally asked him, "How do you expect to get intoHeaven?" The boy thought it over andsaid, "Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the dooruntil St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!'"
________________________________________________
One summer evening during aviolent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her son into bed. She was about to turnoff the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with metonight?" The mother smiled and gave hima reassuring hug. "I can't dear," shesaid. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room."A long silence was broken at last by his shaky littlevoice: "The big sissy."
_________________________________________________
It was that time, during theSunday morning service, for the children's sermon. All the children wereinvited to come forward. One little girl was wearing a particularlypretty dress and,as she sat down, the pastor leanedover and said, "That is a verypretty dress. Is it your Easter Dress?" The little girl replied, directly into thepastor's clip-on microphone, "Yes, and my Mom says it's a bitch to iron."
__________________________
When I was six months pregnant with my third child, mythree >year old came into theroom when I was just getting ready to get into the shower. She said, "Mommy, you aregetting fat!" I replied, "Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in hertummy" "I know," she replied, but >what's growing in your butt?" _________________________________________________
A little boy was doing his mathhomework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plussix, that son of a bitch is nine...." His mother heardwhat he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?" The little boy answered, "I'mdoing my math homework, Mom." "And thisis how your teacher taught you to do it?"the mother asked. "Yes," he answered.Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my sonin math?" The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learningaddition." The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plustwo, that son of a bitch is four?" After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What Itaught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."
_________________________________________________
One day the first grade teacherwas reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part ofthe story where Chicken Little triedto warn the farmer. She read, ".... andso Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky isfalling!" The teacher paused thenasked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?" One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he said: 'Holy Shit! A talking chicken!'" The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10minutes.
A small boy is sent to bed by hisfather. Five minutes later.... > "Da-ad...." "What? "I'm thirsty. Can you bring me a drink of water?" "No. You had your chance. Lights out." Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad....." "WHAT?"! "I'm THIRSTY. Can Ihave a drink of water??" "I told you NO!"If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!" > Five minutes later......
"Daaaa-aaaad....." "WHAT!" "When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drinkof water?"
________________________________________________
An exasperated mother, whose sonwas always getting into mischief, finally asked him, "How do you expect to get intoHeaven?" The boy thought it over andsaid, "Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the dooruntil St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!'"
________________________________________________
One summer evening during aviolent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her son into bed. She was about to turnoff the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with metonight?" The mother smiled and gave hima reassuring hug. "I can't dear," shesaid. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room."A long silence was broken at last by his shaky littlevoice: "The big sissy."
_________________________________________________
It was that time, during theSunday morning service, for the children's sermon. All the children wereinvited to come forward. One little girl was wearing a particularlypretty dress and,as she sat down, the pastor leanedover and said, "That is a verypretty dress. Is it your Easter Dress?" The little girl replied, directly into thepastor's clip-on microphone, "Yes, and my Mom says it's a bitch to iron."
__________________________
When I was six months pregnant with my third child, mythree >year old came into theroom when I was just getting ready to get into the shower. She said, "Mommy, you aregetting fat!" I replied, "Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in hertummy" "I know," she replied, but >what's growing in your butt?" _________________________________________________
A little boy was doing his mathhomework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plussix, that son of a bitch is nine...." His mother heardwhat he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?" The little boy answered, "I'mdoing my math homework, Mom." "And thisis how your teacher taught you to do it?"the mother asked. "Yes," he answered.Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my sonin math?" The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learningaddition." The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plustwo, that son of a bitch is four?" After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What Itaught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."
_________________________________________________
One day the first grade teacherwas reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part ofthe story where Chicken Little triedto warn the farmer. She read, ".... andso Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky isfalling!" The teacher paused thenasked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?" One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he said: 'Holy Shit! A talking chicken!'" The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10minutes.
Turner Brown
A skinny little white guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE black guy standing next to him. The black guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says: "7' 2" tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch penis, 3 pound left testicle, 3 pound right testicle, Turner Brown." The white man faints dead away and falls to the floor. The black guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him. The big fellow says," What's wrong with you?" In a weak voice the little guy says, "What did you say to me again?" The man says, "I saw the way you were looking at me so I figured I'd just give you the answers to the questions every one always asks me. I'm 7'2" tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch penis, my left testicle weighs 3 pounds, my right testicle weighs 3 pounds and my name is Turner Brown." The little guy says, "Turner Brown? Thank God!!! "I thought you said 'Turn around!"
Pancakes
Six-year-old Brandon decided one Saturday morning to fix his parents pancakes. He found a big bowl and spoon, pulled a chair to the counter, opened the cupboard and pulled out the heavy flour canister, spilling it on the floor. He scooped some of the flour into the bowl with his hands, mixed in most of a cup of milk and added some sugar, leaving a floury trail on the floor which by now had a few tracks left by his kitten. Brandon was covered with flour and getting frustrated. He wanted this to be something very good for Mom and Dad, but it was> getting very bad. He didn't know what to do next, whether to put it all into the oven or on the stove and he didn't know how the stove worked. Suddenly he saw his kitten licking from the bowl of mix and reached to push her away, knocking the egg carton to the floor. Frantically he tried to clean up this monumental mess but slipped on the eggs, getting his pajamas white and sticky. And just then he saw Dad standing at the door. Big crocodile tears welled up in Brandon's eyes. All he'd wanted to do was something good, but he'd made a terrible mess. He was sure a scolding was coming, maybe even a spanking. But his father just watched him. Then, walking through the mess, he picked up his crying son, hugged him and loved him, getting his own pajamas white and sticky in the process! That's how God deals with us. We try to do something good in life, but it turns into a mess. Our marriage gets all sticky or we insult a friend, or we can't stand our job, or our health goes sour. Sometimes we just stand there in tears because we can't think of anything else to do. That's when God picks us up and loves us and forgives us, even though some of our mess gets all over Him. But just because we might mess up, we can't stop trying to "make pancakes" for God or for others. Sooner or later we'll get it right, and then they'll be glad we tried...Please pass some of this love on to others...suppose one morning you were called to God; do all your friends know you love them? I was thinking...and I wondered if I had any wounds needing to be healed, friendships that need rekindling or three words needing to be said, sometimes, "I love you" can heal & bless! Remind every one of your friends that you love them. Even if you think they don't love back, you would be amazed at what those three little words, a smile, and a reminder like this can do.
Funny stuff
ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
Confession (Usher better watch out)
Girl: "Forgive me Father for I have sinned"
Priest: "What have you done my child"
Girl: "I called a man a son of a bitch"
Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a bitch?"
Girl: "Because he touched my hand!"
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her hand)
Girl: "Yes Father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call a man a son of a bitch"
Girl: "Then he touched my breasts."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breasts)
Girl: "Yes Father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call a him a son of a bitch"
Girl: "Then he took off my clothes; Father"
Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call the him a son of a bitch"
Girl: "Then he stuck his "you know what" into my "you know where"!"
Priest: "Like this? (as he stuck his "you know what" into her "you know where)
Girl: "YES FATHER! YEES FATHER!! YEES FAAAATHER!!!
Priest: (after a few minutes) "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch"
Girl: "But father, he had AIDS!!!"
Priest: "SHIT! THAT SON OF A BITCH"
Priest: "What have you done my child"
Girl: "I called a man a son of a bitch"
Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a bitch?"
Girl: "Because he touched my hand!"
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her hand)
Girl: "Yes Father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call a man a son of a bitch"
Girl: "Then he touched my breasts."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breasts)
Girl: "Yes Father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call a him a son of a bitch"
Girl: "Then he took off my clothes; Father"
Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call the him a son of a bitch"
Girl: "Then he stuck his "you know what" into my "you know where"!"
Priest: "Like this? (as he stuck his "you know what" into her "you know where)
Girl: "YES FATHER! YEES FATHER!! YEES FAAAATHER!!!
Priest: (after a few minutes) "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch"
Girl: "But father, he had AIDS!!!"
Priest: "SHIT! THAT SON OF A BITCH"
Not for the weak of stomach
Kind of Yukky!!! Is it not ?
> > >If this story does not make you cry for laughing so hard, let me know and I'll pray for you.
This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke.
The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.
>
Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off
because it was making her sick. He told her he could not stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor;
She was so concerned that one day he would blow his guts out. The years went by and he continued to rip them out!
Then one Christmas morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts.
A malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
Some time later she heard her husband awake with his usual trumpeting, which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom.
The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor
laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had gotten him back pretty good.
About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his
bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face.
She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said,
"Honey, you were right." "All these years you have warned me and I did not listen to you."
"What do you mean?" asked his wife. "Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and these two fingers, I think I got most of them back in."
> > >If this story does not make you cry for laughing so hard, let me know and I'll pray for you.
This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke.
The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.
>
Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off
because it was making her sick. He told her he could not stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor;
She was so concerned that one day he would blow his guts out. The years went by and he continued to rip them out!
Then one Christmas morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts.
A malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
Some time later she heard her husband awake with his usual trumpeting, which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom.
The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor
laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had gotten him back pretty good.
About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his
bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face.
She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said,
"Honey, you were right." "All these years you have warned me and I did not listen to you."
"What do you mean?" asked his wife. "Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and these two fingers, I think I got most of them back in."
May This Encourage You
Let this encourage you always.
Don't spend major time with minor people.
If there are people in your life that continually disappoint you, break promises, stomp on your dreams, too judgmental, have different values and don't have your back during difficult times...they are not friends.
To have a friend you have to be a friend.
Sometimes in life as you grow, your friends will either grow or go.
Surround yourself with people who have high values, goals, interests and a clean lifestyle.
When I think of any of my successes, I am thankful to GOD from whom all blessings flow, and to my family and friends that enrich my life.
Over the years my phone book has changed because I changed for the better.
At first you think you're going to be alone, but after a while new people show up in your life that make your life so much sweeter and easier to endure.
Remember what your elders used to say, "Birds of the same feather always stay together. If you're an eagle, don't hang around chickens because Chickens Can't Fly!
Yes I do love Jesus. He is the source of my existence and Savior. He keeps me functioning each and everyday.
Without Him, I will be nothing.
Without Him, I am nothing.
With Him I can do all things.
Be Positive - Be Progressive - Take the time to make a positive difference in someone's life.
I love the Lord and thank Him for all that He does in my life, therefore, I'm passing this on.
If you love Jesus, send this to five people and the person that sent it to you!!!!!! May God Bless You Richly......God loves you and watches over you everyday.
Don't spend major time with minor people.
If there are people in your life that continually disappoint you, break promises, stomp on your dreams, too judgmental, have different values and don't have your back during difficult times...they are not friends.
To have a friend you have to be a friend.
Sometimes in life as you grow, your friends will either grow or go.
Surround yourself with people who have high values, goals, interests and a clean lifestyle.
When I think of any of my successes, I am thankful to GOD from whom all blessings flow, and to my family and friends that enrich my life.
Over the years my phone book has changed because I changed for the better.
At first you think you're going to be alone, but after a while new people show up in your life that make your life so much sweeter and easier to endure.
Remember what your elders used to say, "Birds of the same feather always stay together. If you're an eagle, don't hang around chickens because Chickens Can't Fly!
Yes I do love Jesus. He is the source of my existence and Savior. He keeps me functioning each and everyday.
Without Him, I will be nothing.
Without Him, I am nothing.
With Him I can do all things.
Be Positive - Be Progressive - Take the time to make a positive difference in someone's life.
I love the Lord and thank Him for all that He does in my life, therefore, I'm passing this on.
If you love Jesus, send this to five people and the person that sent it to you!!!!!! May God Bless You Richly......God loves you and watches over you everyday.
Men
Thought you might enjoy this...
The nice men are ugly.
The handsome men are not nice.
The handsome and nice men are gay.
The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.
The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, have no money.
The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money think we are only after their money.
The handsome men without money are after our money.
The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual, don't think we are beautiful enough.
The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money, are cowards.
The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and thank God are heterosexual, are shy and never make the first move.
The men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest in us when we take the initiative.
NOW ....WHO IN THE HELL UNDERSTANDS MEN?
Men are like fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's a
woman's job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with!
The nice men are ugly.
The handsome men are not nice.
The handsome and nice men are gay.
The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.
The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, have no money.
The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money think we are only after their money.
The handsome men without money are after our money.
The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual, don't think we are beautiful enough.
The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money, are cowards.
The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and thank God are heterosexual, are shy and never make the first move.
The men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest in us when we take the initiative.
NOW ....WHO IN THE HELL UNDERSTANDS MEN?
Men are like fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's a
woman's job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with!
Sunday, October 09, 2005
New Policy (oh boy)
It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change the admittance policy. The new law was that, in order to get into Heaven, you had to have a really bad day when you died. The policy would go into effect at noon the next day. The next day at 12:01, the first person came to the gates of Heaven. The Angel at the gate, remembering the new policy, promptly said to the man, "Before I let you in, I need you to tell me how your day was going when you died." "No problem," the man said. "I came home to my 25th floor apartment on my lunch hour and caught my wife half-naked. She appeared to behaving an affair, but her lover was nowhere in sight. I immediately began searching for him. My wife was yelling at me as I searched the entire apartment. Just as I was about to give up, I happened to glance out on to the balcony and noticed that there was a man hanging off the edge by his fingertips -the nerve of that guy! Well, I ran out onto the balcony and stomped on his fingers until he fell to the ground. But wouldn't you know it, he landed in some trees and bushes that broke his fall and he didn't die. This pissed me off even more. In a rage, I went back inside to get the first thing I could get my hands on to throw at him. Oddly enough, the first thing I thought of was the refrigerator.I unplugged it, pushed it out onto the balcony, and tipped it over the side. It plummeted 25 stories and crushed him! The excitement of the moment was so great that I had a heart attack and died almost instantly."The Angel sat back and thought a moment. Technically, the guy did have abad day. It was a crime of passion. So, the Angel announced, "OK, sir. Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven." and let him in. A few seconds later the next guy came up. The Angel said, "BeforeI can let you in, I need to hear about what your day was like when you died." "No problem," said the second man. "But you're not going to believe this. I was on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment doing my daily exercises. Having been under a lot of pressure I was really pushing hard to relieve my stress. I guess I got a little carried away, slipped, and accidentally fell over the side! Luckily, I was able to catch myself by the fingertips on the balcony below mine. But all of a sudden this crazy man comes running out of his apartment, started swearing, and stamps on my fingers.Well, of course I fell. I hit some trees and bushes at the bottom which broke my fall so I didn't die right away. As I'm laying thereface up on the ground, unable to move and in excruciating pain, I see this guy push his refrigerator, of all things, off the balcony. It falls the 25floors and lands on top of me, killing me instantly."The Angel is quietly laughing to himself as the man finishes his story. "I could get used to this new policy," he thinks to himself. "Very well," the Angel announces. "Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven" and he lets the man enter. A few seconds later, a third man comes up to the gate. The angel says, "Please tell me how you died." The third man says "OK, picture this. I'm naked, hiding inside a refrigerator..."
Wait (not the whisper song)
GIRLS... Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot,
who calls you back when you hang up on him,
who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the boy who kisses your forhead,
who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats,
who holds your hand in front of his friends,
who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on.
Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you.
Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, "...that's her."
GUYS... Find a girl who calls you baby faced instead of hot or sexi
who can't stand it when you hang up on her and calls right back,
who would sit there for hours looking into your eyes,
who doesn't care what you look like, but what's inside counts the most,
Who looks at you with the twinkle in her eyes and kisses you on the cheek instead of the lips, Wants to be with you in public, even if you wear those old grass stained and ripped pants with the bleached jersey like always,
Wait for the girl who is a constant reminder of your happiness and joy,
who makes you smile just by knowing she loves you back.
Wait for the girl who you give piggy back rides to in public and she still is in view of her friends, while she gets off and you hear her go: "you're the one for me, for always"
who calls you back when you hang up on him,
who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the boy who kisses your forhead,
who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats,
who holds your hand in front of his friends,
who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on.
Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you.
Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, "...that's her."
GUYS... Find a girl who calls you baby faced instead of hot or sexi
who can't stand it when you hang up on her and calls right back,
who would sit there for hours looking into your eyes,
who doesn't care what you look like, but what's inside counts the most,
Who looks at you with the twinkle in her eyes and kisses you on the cheek instead of the lips, Wants to be with you in public, even if you wear those old grass stained and ripped pants with the bleached jersey like always,
Wait for the girl who is a constant reminder of your happiness and joy,
who makes you smile just by knowing she loves you back.
Wait for the girl who you give piggy back rides to in public and she still is in view of her friends, while she gets off and you hear her go: "you're the one for me, for always"
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