Only a Jamaican

There were three men from the Caribbean living together in London; a Trinidadian, a Barbadian and a Jamaican who were all starving because they didn't have money to buy food. However, upon coming close to a posh, fancy and very expensive restaurant they came up with a plan.The Trinidadian went in first. After being seated he ordered a threecourse meal with white wine. When he had finished the meal the waiter came by with the cheque."But I paid you!" the Trinidadian shouted. The waiter was very confused as he could not remember being paid, but as he did not want to cause any trouble...he let the Trini leave..Five minutes later the Barbadian walked into the restaurant andordered a five course meal with red wine. When he was finished eating, the waiter came by to collect the money for food. "But I paid you!" The Barbadian shouted. This time the manager came and had to calm down the Bajan, and as he did not want anything to upset the other customers he let the Bajan go.Ten minutes later the Jamaican walked in, sat down, lit acigarette, and ordered the most expensive meal on the menu plus two Red Stripe beers. After he had finished, the waiter came to col lect the money for the meal and before asking for it, the waiter said, "Sir... I have been having a sort of problem all day and I can't understand it. Other people like you came in earlier and ate and they said that they paid me but I don't remember getting any money from them, so................ But Before he could finish, theJamaican chimed in loudly "Hear mi nuh boss, that ah fi yu problem...jus gimme mi change!"

She's Good

NoteFound on the Refrigerator One Morning:

MyDear Wife,
Youwill surely understand that I have certain needs that you,being 54 years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happywith you and I value you as a good wife. Therefore, afterreading this letter, I hope that you will not wronglyinterpret the fact that I will be spending the evening withmy 18 year old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel. Pleasedon't be upset I shall be home beforemidnight.

Whenthe man came home late that night, he found the followingletter on the dining room table:

My Dear Husband,
I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about mybeing 54 years old. I would like to take this opportunity toremind you that you are also 54 years old. As you know, I ama math teacher at our local college. I would like to informyou that while you read this, I will be at the Hotel Fiestawith Michael, one of my students, who is also the assistanttennis coach. He is young, virile, and like your secretary,is 18 years old. As a successful businessmanwho has an excellent knowledge of math, you will understandthat we are in the same situation, although with one smalldifference - 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goesinto 18. Therefore, I will not be home until sometimetomorrow.