"Old Jokes"

Getting Old

A very elderly gentleman, (mid nineties) very well dressed, hair well
groomed, great looking suit, flower in his lapel smelling slightly of a
good after shave, presenting a well looked-after image, walks into an upscale

cocktail lounge. Seated at the bar is an elderly looking lady, (mid
eighties). The gentleman walks over, sits alongside of her, orders a
drink, takes a sip, turns to her and says, "So tell me, do I come here often?"

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Getting Older

An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years.
He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set
of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. Th! e elderly
gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and
the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased
that you can hear again." The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my
family yet. I just sit around and listen to their conversations. I've
changed my will three times!"


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Old . ..

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating,
the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were
talking, and one said, "Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it
was really great. I would recommend it very highly. The other man said,

"What is the name of the restaurant?" The first man thought and thought and
finally said, "What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love?
You know... the one that's red and has thorns." "Do you mean a rose?" "Yes, that's
the one," replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled,
"Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?

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Way out there . ...

Hospital regulations require a wheelchair for patients being discharged.

However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly
gentleman--already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his

feet who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital. After a

chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the
elevator. On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him. "I don't
know, " he said. "She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her
hospital gown."